Gossip Girl AKA Jessica Stanley
by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles
Summary: Spotted: BS sporting an all black outfit, but thats nothing new, not after what happened last.....NO! A silver volvo zipping past the “Welcome to Forks” sign. Could it be? Is EC really back?
1. GG: Guess who's back?

Hey People!

Welcome to Forks, where my friends and I live. We eat, we drink, we sleep, we dance in the rain, (and believe me, there's a lot of that.)

But its no secret, that underneath our bulky raincoats, we're all terrible gossips, well, I am at least.

And there's _finally_ some new dirt to dish.

Spotted: **EM **flirting with ex girlfriend **RH** outside Forks High. **MN **sweeping the stairs of his parents store, **BS **sporting an all black outfit, but thats nothing new, not after what happened last.....NO! A silver volvo zipping past the "Welcome to Forks" sign. Could it be? Is **EC **_really back?_

You _all_ remember what went down last year, so I'm sure that you all agree with me that this is going to be a wild and wicked one.

I can feel it.

You know you love me.

Gossip Girl

AKA : Jessica Stanley.


	2. Write soon Promise Yeah right!

"I hate her." Bella Swan announced to her best friend Angela Weber. "She has to be the MOST disgusting excuse for a human ever created."

"She's not _that_ bad..." Angela saw the look on Bella's face and quickly repaired the damage. "....If you _like_ fat widows. Which I sure don't."

Come on, Ange. We all know you love her apple crumble just as much as the next person.

"I mean, what does he see it her?" she stared intently at her stepmother-to-be, who was at this moment letting more dinner paty guests into the house. Sue Clearwater seemed to think it was customary to throw a grand dinner, to show the town people, that she, was the new woman of the Swan residence. "Its going to be awful when they marry. I mean, 'Leah and Seth Swan'..." Bella shuddered. "There is no way they're taking my name. No way in hell."

"I can't beleive you have to live with them!" Angela patted Bella's shoulder. "You can stay over at my house as much as you like."

Bella sniffed. "Thanks....Oh..." her face fell as she saw who had just walked through the door. "The Newtons are here. Great."

"Why don't you just give him a chance?" Ange suggested.

"Ew. Gross." Bella wrinkled her nose and adjusted her trade mark silk scarf (Now in a depressing shade of black). "Mike Newton is SO not my type."

"Let me guess, your "type" is a player, bad boy? Bronze hair perhaps? Green eyes? Insanely gorgeous?" Bella's shoulders sagged and her brown eyes filled with tears. Angela ignored her. She'd had enough of Emo Bella. It had been a year. The only thing Bella ever got remotely worked up about now was her new step-family. She had to hear this. "Maybe, your type is someone who tells you he's unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you one day, then the next, writes you a note saying "Gone to LA. Big plans. I'll write. Promise. Love Edward. x". Then gone without a trace. Is that your type Bella?" Angela had gone quite red in the face.

"No." whispered Bella.

Angela raised her eyebrows.

"Yes." she mumbled.

"Hey Bells!" Mike had walked over, completely oblivious to the tense atmosphere. As usual. "Angela."

"Hi." the girls muttered, their eyes still on each others face.

"Geez, I hope you girls are more fun then Jess over there." he pointed to Jessica Stanley who was curled up with her laptop in the corner. "She's on some website. Wouldn't let me see what it was though...." his face lit up. "D'ya think its porn?"

"MIKE! Get us drinks would you?"

"Fine." Mike sauntered off.

"Bella. You've got to get over Edward. Please?"

Bella bit her lip. "I'm so over him." It sounded more like a question.

"Honey, you've kept the last tissue he ever blew into, in your sock drawer. Thats not "over"."

Bella pouted. "I'm pathetic."

"Just forget about him. He wasn't even that great."

Liar.

"His feet smelled after basketball practice?" Bella offered. It was really the best she could do.

"Its a start."

Bella wrapped Angela into a hug. "Thanks. With you on my side, I'll be over..."

"EDWARD CULLEN! What a fantastic surprise! You're back!"

Accross the room, Jessica's eyes lit up and she started to type furiously into her laptop.


	3. B cringes big time

_"EDWARD CULLEN! What a fantastic surprise! You're back!"_

Bella's mouth dropped open.

Her eye started to twitch.

Angela grabbed her wrist. "Whats that Bella? You need to show me something? Urgently? Ok. Lets go to your room." She lugged her immobile friend up the stairs and threw her onto the bedroom floor.

"H...he's back."

"Yes. He is. But you're over him, Bella. Remember?" Angela grabbed Bella's face. "Remember?"

Bella wasn't listening. "Ange! He came back for me! He saw what a big mistake it was to leave and came back!"

"Took him long enough." muttered Angela. "Its been a year. Must've been one hell of a epiphany ...."

Bella shrugged. "Lets get back down there." she grinned. "Theres alot of catching up to do."

"No no no!" Angela slapped her. "Listen. He probably came back because he realised there's a girl on the roll that he hasn't hooked up with yet. Bella? Are you even listening?"

God no. Bella's head was spinning. She was imagining what would happen when she got back down there. In her mind, Edward saw her entering the room. His eyes would light up. He'd push his way through the crowd untill he got to Bella. Then, he would get down on one knee and say, "Remember the 'Big Plans' I wrote about in my parting love letter to you?" In Bella's fantasy, this letter was six pages long, accompanied by a dozen roses. Bella would nod. "Well," he would say, "I went to LA, on the search for a perfect engagement ring and venue for a wedding. Everythings ready baby." He would get down on one knee. People around would have tears streaming down their cheeks. It was just too romantic. "Isabella Marie Sw-"

"Bella! Bitch!" Angela was repeatedly slapping her. "Listen to me. We'll stay up here until.....Bella! Come back you idiot! Ugh." she flopped down onto the bed.

Bella sprinted down the stairs, being sure to check her reflection in the hall mirror as she passed. She stepped in to the dining room and scanned the room for her soon-to-be-fiancee.

"So how was LA, Ed?"

Edward Cullen winced at the nickname he hated so much. "Great. I really did some soul searching." he lied to Charlie Swan.

"Well, Bells is gonna be thrilled to see you. She was devastated when you left." Charlie chuckled. "Actually, I think she kept a few of your old tissues. Oh and wait till you see the shrine..."

Ooo. Cringe.

Edward internally shuddered. That was just plain creepy.

Huh, he thought, speak of the devil and in she walks.

Yah, we could say the same for you buddy.

"Hey gorgeous!" squealed Bella, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Bella." Edward shrugged her off. "Um, I'd like you to meet Tanya." He gestured to the gorgeous blonde behind him. "My girlfriend."

Bella burst out laughing. "You...ha ha ha...Girlfriend. impossible. _I'm_ your girlfriend"

The room had gone quiet and Tanya was staring at Bella like she was a piece of dirt on her shoes.

"You're serious?"

The whole room nodded in unison.

Daaaaaang!


	4. GG: B swaps black for purple!

Hey People!

Oooo! So it looks like our favourite bad boy is back! With a blonde bimbo on his arm...Hmm....Might want to think about breaking out that blonde hair dye for the next big party.... When _is_ that going to be? Seriously, everyones getting kinda slack, I'd throw one myself, but I wanna be able to keep my mind on operation-seduce-**E **(Watch this space!) without worrying that someone spilling their drink on mummy's rug.

Dear Gossip Girl.  
Just spotted JB doing some major frirting ( my blurd for friendly flirting, hope u like!) with dark haired girl in purple rain coat BS? I'd put my money on those 2 getting together, but maybe not with EC back? You rock GG!  
- XOXOXO14

Dear XOXOXO14,

I love the whole "frirting" thing! Oooo, juicy! Bella's swapped black for purple! Whats next? Orange? And about **JB**? He'll never win **B's** heart...at least, not till he has a haircut!

-Gossip Girl

Spotted: **B** getting blonde highlights at the local hair salon. Hmm.._someone_ took my advice! **EC** staring at a packet of kleenex in a store for a few minutes, then deciding against it and buying a hanky. It was brown, if some on my more stalkerish readers want to know.

You know you love me,

Gossip Girl


	5. The bitchfight of the century has begun!

"Are you sure it suits me?" Bella peered into Angela's car window and ran her hands through her newly highlighted hair self-consciously.

"Babe, it looks fine!" Angela said in a exasperated voice. "He'll see you and fall madly in love with you again, all because of your hair. Now get in!"

The girls arrived at school in record time due to Bella's constant..."Drive faster! No not too fast, it'll look like we're desperate!"

Speak for yourself sweetie, I'm pretty sure Ange couldn't care less about how fast it takes her to get to biology....

"That Tanya is such a slut." muttered Bella. "Did you see the way she groped him last night? She was like, 'Ooo, Eddy! We had sooo much fun in LA didn't we baby?' "

"Uh huh."

"I bet she had some work done. Those tits can't possibly be real."

"Mmm..."

"What does he see in her, anyway?"

"Yeah."

"I mean, she doesn't look very smart. I bet she's only with him for his money...." She glanced at her watch. "Crap. Late for english. We'll carry this on later, Ange."

"I'd rather not." mumbled Angela under her breath as Bella walked the other way.

As she sat down in the english classroom and arranged her books, Bella heard the chair next to her scrape out.

"Uh, hi."

She looked up, then wished she hadn't. Tanya sat down beside her, smiling nervously.

"I just wanted to say that, I'm sorry about last night. There was obviously some sort of misunderstanding and...well, we kinda got off on the wrong foot." she held out her hand. "I'm Tanya."

Bella stared at her hand for a long minute untill Tanya withdrew it. Then she finally looked up and said..."You really need to moistrise your hands. Also, your nailbeds, yeah, they suck."

Tanya cocked a eyebrow. "Thanks for the tip."

Bella smiled sweetly. "No problem. There are about a billion others I could give you. You just have to ask."

She seemed to speak through gritted teeth. "I'll keep that in mind. I know _Edward_ likes his girlfriend to look her best."

"He probably won't keep you around for very long then." Bella opened her book and stared straight at the teacher.

They stayed silent for a long time before one of them cracked.

Tanya leaned in and hissed in her ear, "I don't know who you think you are, but Edward Cullen is mine and there is nothing you can do about it."

Bella didn't look away from the back of the teachers head. "Oh, I'm sure there are plently of things I could do, and I plan to do each and every one of them."

"May the best girl win."

"May the best girl with a real chest win."

The bell rang and Bella swept out of the classroom smiling, blissfully unaware, that the bitch fight of the century had just begun.

**Oooo! Sorry that my chapters for this story are never very long. I like to keep it short and sweet. You read my last GG post right? Well that message/question thingy was one someone actually sent me in a review, so if you want to send me one, who knows? I might just answer it! You know you love me, so review!**


	6. The boys make a bet

"Dude, I fully forgot how wicked bunking with you is." Emmett Mc Carty said to Edward Cullen as he cracked open a beer. They were lounging in the back seat of Emmett's jeep during the hour they were _supposed_ to be doing calculus...

"Likewise." agreed Edward, taking a swig of his. "So whats gone down since I've been away? What happened with you and Rose? I thought you guys were like engaged or something."

"Ha ha. Funny. Nah." Emmett made a face. "I actually blame you for us breaking up. If you hadn't left....." he trailed off.

Edward just about choked on his beer. "What? Blame me? Why? What did I do? What happened?"

Emmett stared out the window. "Ok, well, after you left, Bella was like...pretty much dead. Nobody saw her, she didn't talk, she didn't come to school for a week...."

An uncomfortable, guilty knot was forming inside Edward.

"Eveyone tried to go over and get her out of the house, but she had padlocked her door from the inside. Charlie was so mad." Emmett chuckled darkly. "Then one night, I remembered her bedroom window, ya know? The one that she never locks properly? The one with the tree outside?"

Edward almost smiled. "Yeah I remember." he thought back to the countless times that he had climbed through that window late at night to see Bella. He remembered how her face would always light up when she saw him. He remembered how when she would kiss him...No! Those days were over. He had Tanya now! Ugh. Tanya.

"Well, I figured that was the only way to get in. So I climbed in and...oh my God. It was worse than you could've imagined, bro." Em shuddered, remembering the hundreds of tissues, the photos of Edward strewn everywhere, how Bella had looked like the walking dead....

Edward bit his lip.

"All I wanted to do was comfort her. I dunno why, I just did. So I went over and hugged her and...well..." Emmett was almost blushing, and it took alot to make Emmett Mc Carty blush. "I actually don't know how we ended up kissing, it just sorta....happened."

Edward tensed. "What happened after that, Emmett?" he hissed.

Oh yes, Emmett was definetly blushing now. "One thing kinda led to another..."

Edward could feel his entire body heat up. The very idea of Emmett and Bella....Ugh. He couldn't even think it. "That slut." he muttered. When they were together, she was all 'I'm not ready Edward. We have to wait.' What a load of crap. Then at the first chance she gets, she gets it on with his best friend!

"No way dude. This wasn't Bella's fault." Emmett assured him. "She was in a real bad place. She cried the whole way through it and kept muttering how she wished I was you." He made a face.

Edward immediatly felt guilty again but tried to cover it up. "Right. Was it any good?" he grinned. Might as well know what he missed. "I bet all the muttering of my name made you real horny right?"

Emmett punched him in the gut. "Actually, it was REALLY good. Wet and creepy, but good. You don't know what you missed."

Edward groaned. Dammit. "I still don't get how this relates to you and Rose though....How did she find out?"

"Oh yeah. It seems Rose had the same idea as me..."

"Rosalie wanted to sleep with Bella?!?"

"No! The window by the tree thing! Halfway through us doing it she fell through the window."

Edward winced. "Oooo."

"Yeah. But I'm gonna get her back. You just watch me."

Edward slapped his best friend on the back. "Good for you, man."

"So whats with this Tanya chick? She's hot."

Edward nodded. She was. Trouble was, that was about the only thing he liked about her....

"Is it serious?"

"Nah. Actually, I'm thinking about breaking up with her." In the morning, he added silently.

"And getting back with Bella?" Emmett guessed slyly.

Edward shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe I'll just stay single a while."

Emmett laughed loudly. "Edward Cullen, you've had a crush on Bella Swan since kindergarten. You practically bounced everywhere for weeks, with a goofy grin on your face two years ago when she agreed to go out with you. You won't be able to keep your hands off her longer than a week once you're single!"

Edward raised his eyebrow. "Want a bet?"

"You're on. $100 cash."

The boys shook on it.

Ooooo, looks like the girls aren't the only ones up for a bit of healthy competition today....


	7. GG: E trying to kill T?

Hey People!

Having a good day? Warm? Comfortable? Good for you. _You_ didn't just spend 45 minutes eavesdropping under a senior's jeep. But boy was it worth it....All that goss. And the only price I had to pay was my health (It was cold. So very very cold.). Very reasonable.

Dear Gossip G,

I'm pretty sure I'm B's next door neighbor. Is she the one who lights candles every night around a shrine for some guy named Edward? Yeah, well she's stopped doing that now. Wonder why...?

-Nosy Neighbor

Dear NN,

B's bedroom is upstairs. Have you been climbing the tree too?

- Gossip Girl

Spotted: **E** buying 2 mushroom ravioli in the cafetaria. Hmm...I happen to know that thats **B**'s fave meal, and **T**'s allergic to mushrooms...so...Do **E** and **B** have a lunch date next chapter? Or is **E** just trying to kill **T**?

You know you love me

Gossip Girl

(AKA Jessica Stanley)


	8. The mushroom ravioli incident

Bella sighed and leaned back in her cafeteria chair. How long did it take for one boy to walk from class to lunch? Maybe Edward was taking so long because he was breaking up with Tanya!

Or maybe they were making out in a closet somewhere….He he.

"Hey, Bells." Rosalie Hale pulled out the chair beside her friend and sat down. "How's the seduce Edward scheme coming along?"

"Well, he's not here yet, idiot!" snapped Bella.

The girls nibbled their celery in silence. Bella knew she shouldn't be snappy with Rose, not after she had very kindly over looked Bella's betrayal of her trust, but seriously, what sort of question was that?

Emmett snuck up behind the girls and put his hands over Rosalie's eyes. "Guess who?"

"Please be Zac Efron, please be Zac Efron…"

Emmett pulled Rose's pony-tail. "You never told me you were a HSM fan." He accused her as he sat down.

"You never told me you liked brunettes." Rose whispered pathetically, turning her head so only Bella could see her wink.

This was her new game. She would bring up when Emmett cheated on her, pretend to still be sad, Emmett would send her roses or something that night, then she'd call him and they'd flirt for a few hours.

The cycle repeated every few days. Rose's room smelled great.

Emmett sighed and changed the subject. "Look, there's Edward!"

Bella's head popped up.

"Edward! Over here!"

Edward grinned and zig-zagged in between tables, to take the spare seat beside Emmett and opposite Bella.

"Just like old times, huh?" Edward grinned and put his tray down.

"Two mushroom ravioli?" Bella asked pointing at the two bowls.

Edward shrugged. "I was very very hungry."

"That's mean! You know it's my favourite!" she whined.

"Oh is it?" Edward said mocking innocence. "I totally forgot. I'll tell you what though…" he popped a piece in his mouth. "It's really good."

Bella groaned.

"Did you want some?" he flicked a bit off his fork and it hit her right in the forehead.

The cafeteria fell silent, all eyes open for Bella's reaction.

Bella's eyes narrowed. "Oh you'll pay for that Cullen." She growled.

"Looking forward to it."

Hmm, so am I….

Tanya swanned into the cafeteria just as Edward flicked another piece of ravioli at Bella.

Emmett winked at Rosalie and mouthed "This is gonna be interesting."

"Eddie!" she squealed throwing herself on his lap. "Gimme some!" she leaned in to kiss him but he misunderstood and popped a bit of ravioli into her mouth.

"Good?"

She spat it into the bowl and everyone made a face. "What the hell? What is that?"

"Mushroom ravioli. Isn't it just delicious? Its my favourite." Bella smiled sweetly.

Tanya glared back at her. "Its disgusting! Its….MUSHROOMS?!"

"Yeah…..That's why it's called '_mushroom_ ravioli'." Bella snickered.

"Edward! You know I'm allergic to mushrooms!" she screeched. "I break out in a huge rash! I'll look HIDEOUS!"

"I'm positive no-one will notice…" Bella muttered not quietly enough.

"I totally forgot. I'm sorry, Tanya." Edward pressed his lips together to refrain from laughing.

"I'm going home to moisturize!" Tanya fumed and stormed out.

"Aww, I'll miss you." Bella called after her.

"I heard Bella and Tanya are in having a lesbian affair." whispered Lauren to Tyler. "Edward found out and that's why he chucked the ravioli."

"Well I heard the reason Edward left was because Bella cheated on him with Rosalie." Tyler replied.

"No, no. It was with Emmett."

"But she's a lesbian, Mike."

"So what did you get up to in LA, Edward?" Rosalie broke the silence at her friends table.

"It's a long story."

"Hey why don't you tell it tonight. We can all hang out." suggested Bella. "_Just _like old times."

Sneaky bitch.

Rose smirked. "I'd offer my house, but Jasper has his _new girlfriend_ are going to be there….It might be a bit awkward for you Edward."

"God no. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Alice won't be happy." Rosalie warned him.

"And since when do I care about Alice?"

"I can't wait!" said Bella happily.

"Shall we invite Tanya?" Emmett bit his lip as he saw the looks on Bella and Edward's faces.

"NO!" they both yelled in unison.

Oh why not guys? She could really contribute to the educated conversation….


	9. B wants E to make a friendship bracelet

"Why not?" whined Tanya.

"Because," Edward said into the phone that was tucked between his ear and shoulder, "The rash could be contagious."

"It isn't." his girlfriend sounded on the verge of tears. "You just don't want me to come do you?"

"Of course I want you to come." he lied. "Its just a sort of friend thing. I don't come with you when you hang out with _your_ friends, do I?"

Like she even _has _friends.

"Whatever." and she hung up.

Edward grinned and hung the phone up.

Reeeesult!

"Eddie, red or blue?" Alice danced down the stairs and held up two dresses.

"Neither. Jazz told me he liked the black one on you."

"He did? Really? What were his words exactly? Are you sure he was talking about me?"

Edward ignored his younger sister. "You seem better." he accused her.

Alice blushed and gave a fake cough. "Its...its amazing what a day home can do for you?"

"Hmmm, funny coincidence, Jasper wasn't at school today either. Weird, huh?"

"Very strange." muttered Alice, staring at her feet.

Edward smirked. "Go get dressed. We're leaving in 5."

The phone rang again.

"Tanya?"

"Sorry to disappoint." Bella's voice was light but obvious jealousy rang.

"Thank God its you. I swear to God, if Tanya calls once more to complain about that stupid rash..." Edward trailed off.

"Eddiekins! It itches! Buy me some insanely overpriced moisturiser and lather it on me!" Bella did a perfect imitation of Tanya's whiny tone.

Edward grinned to himself. "Oh Edward! Its all like...red! Don't I just have the best adjectives?"

Both of them broke down into helpless laughter.

Bella was the first to recover. "God, I miss this."

"Same. I forgot how natural it feels to talk to you. It was just like this when we were younger and best friends."

"No complicated relationship stuff."

Edward nodded and then realised she couldn't see. "Yeah. Can't we go back to that?"

Wait. Does he mean the best friends thing or the complicated relationship stuff?

"Sure. I'll start on the friendship bracelets now." he said in a unnaturally gay voice.

"Green for me!" Bella sang. "Oh my gosh! I totally forgot why I was calling..."

To proclaim your everlasting love for him?

"Butterlovers or plain popcorn?"

Nice save.

"Doesn't matter. You choose. I'd better go. If Alice spends to much time with the curling iron she starts talking to it."

"See you soon." Bella resisted the urge to say 'YOU HANG UP FIRST!'. Instead, they both hung up feeling equally pissed at the new turn their relationship had taken.

HEY! Have you guys forgotten the friendship bracelets?

*

"I thought you were joking!"

"Do I look like I'm joking?" asked Rosalie, pointing to her amused looking face. "Shows how much attention you pay to me. You don't even know what a die-hard high school musical fan I am!"

Emmett made a mental note to buy her roses on the way home.

Bella rolled her eyes. She knew for a fact that Rosalie despised all Disney movies and had only bought HSM along to piss off the guys.

"This is so stupid." complained Edward, throwing popcorn at the screen a few minutes later.

"Dude," Bella kicked him. "Its the opening credits."

"Its still stupid."

"Opening credits can't be stupid"

"They can when Zac Efron is in them."

"Shhhh!" hissed Rose and Emmett.

"I happen to think Zac is gorgeous." whispered Bella.

"He is so not your type."

Bella remembered what Angela had said the previous evening about her type being players and willed herself not to quote her. "So what is my type, Edward?"

"Me." Edward wanted to say. But he didn't. He just stared straight ahead at the screen.

Bella smirked. "I thought so."

About halfway through the movie, there was a knock at the door.

Rose got up to answer it and everyone else followed.

"Hiiiii! I bought popcorn!" Tanya sang.

Edward froze and Bella groaned.

"Get lost Tanya!"

Tanya smiled sweetly. "No way, Bella, honey. Remember that little talk we had in English?"

Everyone turned to look curiously at the two girls.

"Well what else would you have had it in? Spanish?" Emmett joked weakly.

Tanya looked confused. "But I didn't have Spanish today. I have it on Thursdays."

Everyone groaned.

"Whatever. So what are we watching?" Tanya strode into the living room. "High school musical? Yay! I love Disney movies!"

Bella turned to Edward. "Can I talk to you alone for a minute?"

Edward glanced at his girlfriend who was too wrapped up in singing (badly) Getcha head in the game, to notice anything much right at that moment. "Happy to."

She led him down the hallway and into the bathroom.

"Ok, you must have your reasons for staying with the slut but whatever. We both obviously don't want her here right now. Correct?"

Edward hesitated before nodding.

"Then lets get rid of her."

A grin that Edward knew all too well plastered Bella's face. It was the grin she wore when she was thinking evil, evil thoughts.

Edward couldn't help smiling back. "What do you have in mind?"


	10. E didn't take his HSM CD to LA

_**Previously...**_

"_Then lets get rid of her."_

_A grin that Edward knew all too well plastered Bella's face. It was the grin she wore when she was thinking evil, evil thoughts._

_Edward couldn't help smiling back. "What do you have in mind?"_

"Bella! Calm! Deep breaths!" Edward said loudly as they walked back into the living room.

Bella breathed in and out a few times. "I can't calm down , dammit! A huge celebrity is holding auditions for the most beautiful girl in town! I'm that girl Edward!"

Tanya's head popped up. "Celebrity? What celebrity?"

Bella started hyperventilating again. "Robert Pattinson!"

"WHAT!?" screeched Tanya, jumping up. "Oh em GEE! I like, love him!"

"Back off biotch! He's mine!" said Bella, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Besides, you don't even know the terms and conditions. Go down there looking like THAT and you have no chance."

"And you think you stand a chance?" sneered Tanya. "What are the terms? Dress like a hobo and have awful split ends?"

Bella pretended to crack. "No! For your information, the terms and conditions are..." she pulled out the list she and Edward had written on toilet paper. "Number one, must have pink hair."

"Done." muttered Tanya.

Edward and Bella avoided looking at each other in fear they would collapse into hysterics.

"Two. Must be dressed leopard skin cat suit with peanut butter facial mask."

"I have a leopard skin cat suit!" exclaimed Tanya.

"Three, must walk into mall singing high school musical song of choice."

"What I've been looking for." Tanya decided.  
"And lastly, must have tattoo of Rob himself on cheek."

"I've so totally always wanted a tat. Its just like face-painting, right?"

"Riiiight." chanted the whole room in unison.

"Sorry to bail." Tanya strode over to the door. "But...uh....I'm gonna. Ily." and she slammed the door behind her.

About two second went by and then the whole room collapsed.

"Oh...my...God....You guys.... we.... face-painting...."

"I know....pink....hair...cat suit..."

"We officially rock." Edward declared once they had recovered. He scooped Bella up into a hug.

Bella pretty much melted into him. It felt so good. "I agree." she said into his shoulder. "I literally cannot wait for tomorrow."

Alice skipped into the room pulling Jasper by the hand. "We are NOT ditching tomorrow Jazz."

"Gee, eavesdrop much?" complained Edward.

Pfff! Yeah! The nerve of some people! Thats almost as bad as hiding under a jeep for an hour to get the dirt on someone else's love life! Terrible.

"It was pretty hard to miss. And by the way, never become actors. You both suck."

"Tanya didn't seem to notice."

"Thats because Tanya is an idiot!" exclaimed Alice.

"Agreed!" shouted the whole room.

"Anyway, now that we've gotten rid of Edward's lovely girlfriend, seriously, what a catch, we can get down to business." said Bella.

"Buisness?" echoed Edward.

I believe she means snogging each others brains out until the cows come home, m'dear.

"Yeah. The whole reason we organized this lil get together, was to find out exactly what you were doing when you disappeared without a trace."

Alice pulled Jasper down onto the couch. "I want to hear this too, your post-cards were always.... vague. 'Dear, Alice..." she said in a perfect imitation of her brothers voice. " 'I'm having fun in L.A. Doing _stuff_. Hope you're ok. Remember, appliances, although helpful, are not your friends. Talk to someone else once in a while. Love Edward'"

Edward rolled his eyes. "Exaggerate much?"

"Just tell us what happened!" Bella yelled impatiently.

"Ok...ok. So I was kinda hit by inspiration. I was watching a movie and was like 'If those actors make so much money playing make believe, why can't I?'"

Well, snookums, if you would simply LISTEN to your sister, you would know that you CAN'T ACT!

"So I decided to go to L.A. I packed my bags, grabbed Dad's credit card and off I went."

"Dude..." murmured Emmett.

"So, I pretty much met Tanya on my way there. She wanted to act too so we set off together."

Bella gritted her teeth, imagining only too clearly _that _little journey.

No, no, Bella. Edward left his HSM CD at _home_.

"Well, _I_ haven't seen you in any blockbusters lately. What happened then?" Bella demanded.

Edward shrugged. "We crashed and burned and spent the rest of Dad's money on partying. Then it all ran out so I came home and Tans tagged along."

They all sat in silence for a minute, apart from the sound of Zac Efron muttering pathetically, "Like kindergarten."

"Oh for the love of GOD! Rosalie, turn the damn thing off!"


	11. R should dye her hair bronze

Bella was just about to head out the door the next morning when the phone in her bedroom rang.

"Hello?" she said brightly, hoping it was Edward.

"Did you have fun last night?"

Bella flopped down onto her bed sadly. It wasn't Edward. "Yes, Angela. I had a lot of fun. Thank you for asking. Now if you don't mind I..."

"Didn't think of inviting me, did you?" Angela said coldly. "So I guess its just back to the way it used to be before he left is it?"

Bella picked up her hairbrush and ran it through her hair for about the 73rd time that morning. "I'm hoping so."

"That's nice. That's really nice. So you're just going to forget about the rest of us. Even me, the one person who got you through the last year?"

"I didn't mean it like th..."

"You know," Angela continued. "I thought you were different. I thought you were one of those people who actually had a bit of pride. But you're just going to run back to your old friends. And Edward. They don't give a damn about you."

"Yes they do!" Bella insisted. "Edward still loves me. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me."

"Tanya was probably standing right behind you." And the line went dead.

Bella slowly moved the phone away from her ear and stared at it.

Was that really Angela who had said that? Angela was the nicest person you could find! Now she was just acting like a..a...

A Bella?

….A bitch!

But she didn't have to much time to dwell on it, because as soon as she put the phone down, a familiar horn tooted. Bella didn't even need to look out the window to know that the car waiting outside would be a Volvo.

She ran the brush once more through her mahogany hair, applied a fresh coat of lip-gloss, grabbed her bag and skipped down the stairs, ignoring Sue's urges to eat breakfast.

She threw open the door to see a... red M3 parked in the driveway.

She stormed up to the car and yanked the door open.

"Hey, Bella!" sang Rose.

"Rosalie! Where's Edward?"

Rose's face became puzzled. "Was I meant to pick him up too?"

"No!" Bella cried. "He was supposed to pick _me _up! He always picks me up!"

"Edward has a girlfriend now, Bella. He probably picked _her_ up." Rose said quietly. "No matter how much we hate her, Tanya is still his girlfriend."

"Not for long! He's _going_ to break up with her!"

"Did he tell you that?"

"He didn't have to." Bella strapped on her seat belt. "You'll see."

Rosalie smirked. "I guess you're right. I'm pretty sure the Rob Pattinson tattoo will be quite a turn off."

Bella cracked a smile. "And the pink hair."

"Lets get to school quickly. I can't wait to see what she looks like."

Bella unzipped her bag. "I bought my camera."

"We can make a collage of ugly Tanya pictures!"

"And post them on the internet!"

The girls giggled and Rose pulled into school.

*

"Did you see Tanya?"

"I heard Bella strapped her onto an operating table and did it to her."

"I heard Edward helped. He's like, obsessed with Twilight and Robert Pattinson. Plus, he thought she'd look prettier with pink hair."

"No! He did it so she'd be so embarrassed she'd leave town! Then he could go out with his sister, who he's in love with."

"Dude," Emmett muttered to Edward as they entered the cafeteria. "Have you heard some of the rumours going around?"

"No." replied Edward. "And I don't want to. I forgot what gossips people in this town are."

Nice to know we're appreciated...

"Do you know where Tanya's gone? No-one's seen her since this morning."

"Don't know don't care." Edward muttered under his breath, but to Emmett he said... "I dunno, man. I'm breaking up with her tonight though."

"Then the bet can start." Emmett rubbed his hands together. "I hope you've got enough in your piggy bank."

Edward didn't answer. He certainly didn't! Carlisle had told him that he wasn't touching another penny of his until the day he died. And there was no way_ Edward Cullen_ was getting a job.... So Edward was not losing this bet.

"Eddie?"

Edward blinked. "Yeah?"

"Do you just want to stand there, or are we going to sit with the girls?" Emmett pointed towards where the girls were sitting, Bella was waving at him, a huge grin plastered on her face.

He wiggled his fingers back at her and strode through the crowds.

"Ladies." The boys greeted them in unison as they sat down.

Bella gave a high pitched giggle and Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"So... What did everyone think of Tanya's new look?" Emmett snickered. "Pink is the new blonde!"

Rosalie cleared her throat.

"I mean...I um..." he stuttered. "Did you like the flowers?" he tried pathetically.

Bella turned to Edward. "_I _love flowers." she hinted.

Edward nodded and stabbed a chip on his fork.

"Did you get the English homework, Bella?" Rosalie asked.

Bella ignored her completely and Rose's face fell.

Awww, its ok Rose. Just dye your hair a bronze colour. _Then _she'll pay attention to you.

"Hey, everyone!" a voice like wind chimes interrupted the awkward silence. Alice Cullen and Jasper Hale pulled 2 chairs up to the table and sat down. "Whats going on?"

"Nothing." muttered Edward.

"Nothing." said Bella dreamily, still staring at Edward.

"Nothing." mumbled Rosalie.

"Eating." replied Emmett.

Alice nodded. She racked her brains for something to say. _Anything!_ "I have a question, Rosalie?"

Rose's head popped up. "Yes?"

"How does High School Musical end?"

*

"Edward, can you drop me at the mall?" Alice asked sweetly, hopping into his Volvo.

"Why me? Aren't you going with Jasper?"

Alice shook her head. "He says he's got some 'business to take care of'. And I would drive myself, but my Porsche is at Black's Garage."

"Yeah, ok. 'Business' right. So you're just going to the mall all by yourself?" Loner...

"No! Bella and Rosalie are coming."  
"Bella hates shopping." he argued.

Alice shrugged. "She said she needs some new clothes."

Edward shook his head. "That is so not like Bella."

His sister glared at him. "Don't pretend like you know Bella anymore! She's changed. You don't know half the shit that went down while you were gone. With her. With everyone."

Yeah! When was the last time he asked how Gossip Girl was doing?

Edward stared at her. "Pretty sure I do actually. Emmett filled me in."

"What about me?" Alice said, her eyes filling with tears.

Edward bit his lip. He didn't like this. Sibling bonding wasn't really his thing...

"Whatever." she muttered. "It doesn't even matter. All I'm saying, is that you can't just come back here and be the same self centered, know all, you were before you left. Because you aren't as well informed as you think you are." she hopped out of the car. "Just keep that in mind."

Edward groaned as he watched his sister run away. God, he hated it when Alice was all cryptic. He also hated secrets and there were obviously a lot of those he didn't know.

He let himself into the house. Carlisle was always at the hospital, Esme was probably at one of her friend's house. It didn't matter that he was alone. He would take a shower and maybe call Emmett or Jasper.

He tore off his shirt, threw it in the washing basket and went to get a drink from the kitchen.

Three things happened at once.

A thump came from upstairs.

Edward noticed that there were only three knives on Esme's four knife display. One was missing.

He also noticed that a photo album was lying open and face down on the top of the stairs. Photos were strewn on every step.

Edward froze, closed the fridge and tip-toed cautiously towards where the photos lay. He picked up the first one he saw.

It was ripped in two. It was of Bella Swan.

Another thump came from upstairs, followed by a high pitched, hysterical cackle.

He made his way up the stairs, careful not to make a sound.

More thumping. Coming from his bedroom.

He reached for his door handle, gripping it tightly.

"Ha!" came a female voice from inside the room, then it started whispering. It sounded like 'Does it hurt?'.

He turned the door handle and burst into the room.


	12. GG: Do we hear wedding bells for E?

Hey People!

Gossip Girl here. Is it just me, or are things starting to heat up?

I mean, did **T **really think **E **would want to keep her around once he spotted those shiny brown locks again? Did **E **think he could dump **T **and all would go back to being normal? Did **A **think **B **would stay her BFF through and through?

Come on **A. B **can't even be loyal to a diary for a long period of time.

Speaking of this... Guess what I scored after I snuck into **E**'s bedroom (What? The guy's a sex god with great hair.) ? His journal!

Thats right Forks-dwellers! And let me tell you, it makes excellent night-time reading. Anyone want it after me?

Dear Gossip G,

I work in a jewelry store, and this guy with bronze-ish hair walked in yesterday and bought a DIAMOND ENGAGEMENT RING! Do you think **E **is planning something?

-I-heart-diamonds

Dear IHD,

Who knows with that boy? Maybe **B **invested in some weird voodoo book and performed one on him? Not that I know from experience or anything....In regard to your job... Do you think you could pick me up a diamond necklace with your staff discount?

Love, Gossip Girl

Spotted: **J **looking very shifty as he emerged from a store with a large, white sheet and a can of red paint. Could this be the 'business' he was talking about? **A **and **R **waiting impatiently outside the mall, waiting for **B **to show up for the shopping trip. Hmm... Maybe **E **knows **B **better than we give him credit for...

You know you love me,

XO XO

Gossip Girl

(AKA Jessica Stanly)


	13. Tanya says Toodles!

**I needed to do this chapter in first person, coz I wanted to give you an idea of what they were feeling. Next chap with be back to normal. Pinky promise!**

_He made his way up the stairs, careful not to make a sound._

_More thumping. Coming from his bedroom._

_He reached for his door handle, gripping it tightly._

"_Ha!" came a female voice from inside the room, then it started whispering. It sounded like 'Does it hurt?'._

_He turned the door handle and burst into the room._

RPOV (earlier that day)

I was on my way to my last class of the day when my phone started to ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Rosalieeeee!" squealed the most annoying voice in the world, right in my ear.

"What, Tanya? I have a class to get to." I snapped.

I could practically hear her flipping her hair. "So, Bella and I made up. She apologized for being a bitch and now we're friends."

I smirked. This was so obviously a Bella thing. 'Keep your friends close, your enemies closer' and all that. I decided to play along. "Thats great, Tanya. Ok, I've gotta go. Talk to you la..."

"Anyway," she totally ignored me. "I asked her shopping after school and she said yes, but I can't come. Last minute nail appointment. So can you go with her?"

"Sure." I replied kindly. This was excellent. I could laugh with Bella about her plan to take Tanya down at the mall instead of school. That way no-one would ever overhear us. "Does she need me to pick her up?"

I heard something rustling at the other end of the phone. "Tanya, we're on the phone, I can't hear it when you nod or shake your head." Dumbass.

"Oh! Right!" she giggled. "Um, no. She's going to meet you there."

"Ok. Bye."

"Ta ta, Rose!"

I pressed the end button and immediately started dialing again.

"Alice. Shopping. After school. You know where."

TPOV

I snickered as I snapped my phone shut. What. A. Idiot. I'd known Bella a couple of days and I already knew she hated shopping. And yet, her best friends fell for it.

And now for a crucial part of my plan.

"Hi, Bella! Its Tanya!"

Bella groaned on the other end of the line. "Wha-at?"

"Listen, sweetie. I'm just calling to apologize. I've been such a cow..."

"Cow is a bit of an understatement."

I gritted my teeth. "....over the past few days and, well, I see now that Edward and I are not meant to be."

She gasped. "_Seriously?_"

I nodded but then remembered what Rosalie said. "Yes. I see the way he looks at you." Like you're the disgusting piece of vomit you are. "Like you're an angel. I think we should all talk it over... maturely."

"Um, ok. So you're just gonna hand him over? Even after everything we did to you?"

I glared at my refection in Edward's mirror. No. "Of course. I've already arranged it with Eddie. We're meeting at his place after school."

"Oh..Sure, I'll be there."

"Toodles."

"Yeah. Bye."

I hung up. Like taking candy from a baby.

And now, I wait. I sifted through his drawers for anything to help pass the time. Then I found...

The photo album. It was sitting there, filled with photos.

Wow! A photo album filled with PHOTOS! We have a genius in the house...

There were hundreds. And almost all of them were of Bella.

"I HATE HER!" I screamed to the empty house when I saw a picture of Bella and Edward holding hands on some beach. I started to rip up the photo. "DIE DIE DIE!"

Then I thought, hmm.... My hands can only do so much damage.... So I ran downstairs and grabbed a knife.

I started stabbing and ripping as I ran back up the stairs. "DIE DIE!" I dropped the album at the top of the stairs, but carried all the photos I could hold back to Eddie's room.

"And now..." I muttered as I pinned a particularly pretty picture of Bella to the wall, "You die!" I threw a knife at it.

Bang! Bang! Over and over again I threw the knife at the wall. "Ha!" I yelled when it hit her in the nose. "Does it hurt?"

And then the door burst open.

"Bel- Oh. Its you." I said grumpily.

"Hello?" Bella's voice came from downstairs. "Edward? Tanya?"

Edward sprinted down, me close at his heels. "Edward!" I hissed, I grabbed his collar just as he was about to turn the corner. "Don't go out there...she...she's here to KILL YOU!"

He rolled his eyes. "Its over, Tanya."

"WHAT!?" I screeched. Where the hell had THAT come from? "I ONLY TOLD YOU THAT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE?!"

Bella came over to us. "What the hell is going on here?" she demanded.

Think fast Tanya! I told myself. "SURPRISE!" I yelled.

"Huh?" they both said simultaneously.

Yeah. I had nothing. "Ok. Ok." I started talking really fast. "Bella you suck. I hate you. I never want to be friends with you so that was all a lie, I called Rosalie and told her that you were meeting her at the mall so she and pixie freak wouldn't get in my way..."

"I KNEW IT!" exclaimed Edward. "I told Alice you hated shopping! I know you better than anyone thought!"

"Shut up. Anyways, I lured you here so I could kill you, but then I got sidetracked with all these photos and throwing knives at them. Then Edward found out, you came in and... Yeah."

Everyone was silent for a moment. Then Bella turned to Edward. "Did you understand a wprd of that?"

"Nope."

I smiled sweetly. "It doesn't matter. All that matters is that me and Edward are not breaking up."

Edward looked at me in disgust. "Yes we are."

EPOV

"No we most certainly are not." Tanya simpered. "Because if you break up with me, something very very bad is going to happen to Bella."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yeah right. I can take care of myself."

"You'll never touch her." I said to Tanya. "Never."

Tanya poked Bella in the stomach. "Oops. Just did."

Bella rubbed her stomach and winced. "What do you file your nails with? A knife?"

Tanya giggled. "Ah... Knives. Knives and bombs. Two weapons so small but with so much effect."

I shook my head. "What does that even mean?"

She started to walk towards the door. "Nothing either of you need to worry your pretty and ugly little heads about as long as Edward doesn't break up with me. By the way, the pretty head was Edward. The ugly head was Bella."

"We kinda figured."

"Toodles!" she sang as she closed the door.

"Toodles." we echoed.


	14. Sex for Dummies

**I've decided to put Gossip Girl's comments in italics. Otherwise it gets confusing....xxxx**

"WHAT A FREAKING PSYCHOPATH!" screamed Rosalie.

Alice shook her head and grabbed a handful of fries. "She needs to go to a mental hospital."

Edward had called the six friends together for an emergency meeting at McDonald's to fill everyone in on what had happened that day.

"I knew she was evil! The girl says 'toodles' for God's sake." Rosalie fumed.

"I wonder what she's planning to do with Bella if you break up with her..."

"Jasper!" Bella threw her half-eaten burger at him.

_Oooo, Nice ammo, Bells._

"I was just wondering!" Jasper defended himself, dodging the burger.

"It doesn't matter." said Edward. "We'll never find out. I'm not breaking up with her. Nothing is worth Bella getting hurt."

Jasper, Emmett, Rose and Alice all exchanged meaningful looks.

"So...what?" demanded Bella. "You're going to marry psycho blonde bitch."

"Rosalie's mine." Emmett joked.

Everyone ignored him. "No." Edward said defensively. "I'll....Think of something."

"And until then?"

Edward shrugged and smirked. "I'll live. She's great in bed."

Bella glared at him. "Thats because the only book she's ever read in her entire life is _Sex for Dummies._"

"And it was probably on a disc, seeing as she can't read." Alice chimed in.

*

At about midnight that night....

Bella lay in bed that night thinking about....Edward.

_Really?! Bella. Thinking. About. Edward? Thats a new one._

He was so hot.

_Nice to know she isn't shallow._

And sweet. And lovely. And amazing.

She thought back to the days when they were together. When Edward would climb through her window and hum to her as she fell asleep.

Where he would kiss her so softly....

Sigh. She could practically hear him tapping on her window now.

"Bella." the wind seemed to whisper. "Bella!" Just like Edward used to....

Tap tap tap. "Bella!" she sat up. Was she hallucinating?

"Bella! Open the window!"

She ran over to the window and threw it open. "Edward Cullen! What the hell are you doing?" God he looked hot in the rain....Hair all yummy and wet.

"Would you just help me in before I fall out of the tree?"

She smirked. "Thats never happened before." But she held at her hand and yanked him in the window.

"Thanks." he muttered, dusting himself off. "Wow. De ja vu!"

Bella lay down on her bed. "I know, right. Just like old times."

Edward pushed her over to make more room and lay down beside her. "Exactly like old times."

Bella took a sharp intake of breath. Exactly as in....exactly?

_No, Bella. Exactly as in completely different. Idiot._

"I came to apologise." Edward answered a unspoken question. "This whole Tanya mess is completely my fault." he rolled over and buried his head in the pillow. "What did I ever see in her?"

Bella smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. "She's good in bed." she teased.

Edward's shoulders started to shake but he desperately tried to keep them still. "Not funny." he mumbled.

Bella sighed, lifted her hand hesitantly and began to comb her fingers through his hair.

"I mean, she's pretty and everything, but...Ugh."

"It probably seemed like a good idea at the time." allowed Bella.

They were both silent for a few minutes, then Edward said, "I love it when you do that."

"Run my fingers through your hair?"

"Yeah." he sighed. "You always used to do that when I was upset. Even when we were little. You always made me feel better."

Bella grinned. "And you always rubbed soothing circles on my hand when I was stressed."

"Which was pretty much everyday." they said simultaneously.

Edward chuckled and lifted his head from the pillow. "I still love you, Bella. So, so much."

Bella did a double take, startled at the completely out of the blue declaration. "You mean....love, like.... like a friend?"

Edward shook his head furiously. "No. I mean love like, I want to hold you in my arms and never let you go. I mean love like wanting to kiss every inch of your body. Twice. I mean love like...."

"Tanya." Bella reminded him.

"Is a stupid slut. She _isn't _my girlfriend, Bella. Being in a relationship is a two way thing. If one person isn't willing, its not a relationship."

"She'll hurt me." whispered Bella. "She'll hurt someone I love."

Edward took Bella's face in both hands. "What Tanya doesn't know, can't hurt her. Or you." And with that, he lent in and kissed her with more passion than he had ever kissed anyone (or any_thing _in Tanya's case) with, in his whole life.

Bella kissed back with just as much passion, hooking her leg around his waist.

Both were so caught up in the moment, neither noticed the little red light of a video camera, coming from the crack in Bella's closet, blinking.

Blinking, and filming their every move.

*

Tanya froze as she watched the screen. Her eyes narrowed and she flipped open her cellphone.

"Code Red."

"I told you this would happen." The voice on the other line said.

"Are you prepared?"

"Of course."

"Good." Tanya smiled. "Then you know what to do."


	15. Tips for when texting

"How's my favourite sister in the whole wide world?" Edward sang, pecking Alice on the cheek and stealing on of her waffles.

Alice made a face. "Oh come ON!"

"What? You still have three left. Greedy guts."

His sister snorted. "Like you don't know what I'm talking about."

Now he was really puzzled. "Its not about the waffles?"

"No! Its about you looking far FAR to happy. You're not meant to be ENJOYING being Tanya's boyfriend!"

"What are you on about, Alice?" Stupid sister. Ruining his Bella mood.

"Hmm," Alice put her finger on her chin, pretending to be thinking. "You sneak out last night, then walk in the front door with a huge smile on your face at seven in the morning. What am I _meant _to think you were out doing last night?"

Edward opened his mouth to reply truthfully, but stopped himself. There was no way he could tell Alice that he and Bella were together all night, not that anything happened (stupid Bella and her self-control) But knowing his darling sister, it would be all over school in five minutes. Then Tanya would find out.

"Well?" Alice demanded.

"I...went for a walk?"

_And where did this walk lead? Right into Bella's bedroom._

She yanked the waffle out of his hand. "Well I hope Tanya had fun. Its good to know her little plan is working perfectly."

"I went for a walk." Edward repeated.

"Whatever, Edward." Alice brushed past him. "I'll see you at school."

*

"Ew....Spiderweb." Tanya squeaked to herself, trying not to look at the super dirty bike-shed.

"I'm here." a voice behind her hissed.

Tanya spun around. "What the hell took you so long?"

"What, you think you can _run _with explosives in your backpack?"

Tanya flipped her newly dyed-back-to-blonde hair over her shoulder. "Ok, so you have to plant them. I'm not risking getting expelled."

"And I am?"

"_You _have a clean record. I have one dirtier than...Well," she looked around. "...this bike shed."

"This is SUCH a stupid plan, Tanya. There's no way in hell this is going to work...."

"I don't see you offering up any amazing ideas on how to break them up! This was all me!" Tanya fumed.

"Thats because everytime I gave you an idea, you shot it down because it didn't involve explosives!"  
"Yeah, whatever. This is going to work. Just plant them and everything will go smoothly."

The person opposite fiddled with their fingers. "As..as long as you're sure they'll have no idea I was involved..."

"Don't be such a freaking baby." Tanya muttered. "I repeat. Plant the explosives exactly where I tod you and it'll be fine."

"Exact time?"

"Five minutes after the bell rings. See you there."

*

Bella and Rose sat at a picnic table before school, waiting for Emmett and Edward to arrive.

"So what did you get up to last night?" asked Rose.

"Nothing much." Bella replied quickly. "Why? Did Edw-...Someone say something?"

Rosalie suppressed a laugh. Bella was so transparent sometimes. "No-one said anything, Bells. I was just wondering. Oh, here come the guys."

"Rosie!" Emmett called, tugging on Rosalie's ponytail. "Did you get the flowers?"

"Em, I _always _get the flowers."

"Good morning, Bella." Edward said quietly "Long time no see."

Bella smiled. "I was thinking about you last night."

"What a coincidence." Edward replied in mock surprise. "So was I!"

Rose and Emmett exchanged a glance, just as the bell rang.

"Well." said Edward standing up. "I guess we'll see you ladies at lunch. Come on, Em."

He turned is head, winked at Bella so that only she could see and strolled off in the direction of his first class.

"Bella, why are you blushing?" asked Rose in her usual loud voice.

Edward smiled as Emmett caught up with him.

He'd made Bella blush.

*

Bella was fidgeting like crazy.

"Bella!" hissed Rosalie. "Your thumbs are going to drop off if you twiddle them that fast!"

There were two reason for Bella's unsettled behavior.

Reason One: The satisfied 'I win! I win!' look Tanya was giving her from across the cafeteria scared the shit out of her. 'Calm down, Bella.' she told herself. 'She can't possibly have any idea about you and Edward.' They had both agreed to keep their newly rekindled relationship a secret from everyone. It was for the best.

Reason Two: She had just spotted Edward walking over to her table. And she wanted him. Badly.

Seeing him in there all his gorgeousness, made her think that pulling away from him at the last minute the night before had all been a huge mistake.

She tried to give her sexiest smile as he sat down opposite her. "Hey."

"Hi, Bella. Whats with the thumbs?"

She looked down, her thumbs were still twiddling away so fast you could hardly see them.

"They're bored." she replied. "In fact, my whole hand is bored. It needs something to...work on."

_Oh. My. God. Stupidest attempt ever. _

Rose spat out her coke, spraying it all over the table. "Yeah. Yeah real subtle." she spluttered.

Bella smiled awkwardly. "No idea what you're talking about, Rose."

Edward shifted his weight in his seat. "Maybe you should join the origami club." he suggested.

Bella grinned and nodded. She flipped her phone open under the table and scrolled down until she found 'E'.

**Meet me in the girls bathroom. I won't stop you like I did last night.**

She pressed send and stood up.

"Bathroom." she muttered and sped off down the hall.

The only person in the girls restroom was that annoying gossip, Jessica Stanley, typing furiously on her laptop like no tomorrow.

"Jess, this girl is flirting with Mike back in the cafeteria. You might wanna go and...ya know.." Tear her head off.

Jess's eyes widened and she snapped her laptop shut with a fierce expression. "Thanks Bella. I'll go kill her now."

Like taking candy from a baby.

Bella sat on the sink bench and folded her legs.

_Ooo, Yeah. Thats hot... *rolls eyes*_

She heard a knock on the door and a deep voice hiss "Bella?"

She bit her lip excitedly. "I'm in here, baby."

The door opened a crack and in walked....EMMETT!?

_Lesson one for texting under tables : Always check who you're sending too before you send. It is possible you could know more than one person with a first name staring with 'E'._

"Emmett!" she cried, jumping off the sink. "What are you doing here?"

He looked at his shoes and mumbled. "I _knew _you had texted the wrong person."

"Well, OBVIOUSLY! What did you _think _I was referring to when I said 'I won't stop you like I did last night'?"

Emmett continued to stare at the floor. No way was he admitting that he had thought Bella was waiting with the rest of her McDonald's chips. He'd asked her if he could finish them off last night, eaten one but then she'd taken them away saying that he was being a pig.

Em was a sucker for fries.

"I dunno." he mumbled. "But who did you _mean _to send it to then?"

"Ed...Eric." So. Close.

Emmett shuddered. "Please. Don't tell me."

Bella giggled and punched his arm. "Lets get out of here."

They both sat down at the table laughing. Edward gave Bella a quizzical look but she just mouthed 'Tell you later'.

Edward was going to love that he now had Eric as competition.

*

Tanya was usually above hiding in the bushes, but to day she was willing to make an exception.

She watched her partner in crime attach the explosives to the bottom of Bella's truck and run over to join her in the bushes.

"Are you sure she's not going to _b_e in the truck when it blows up?"

"No." Tanya replied. "She'll be standing a few metres away when we hit the button."

"I still don't see how blowing up her truck with break them up..."

"We've been over this!" hissed Tanya. "No guy wants to go out with a car-less girl." she eyed the truck. "However hideous that car may be."

"Bu-..."

"And Bella will be so distraught over the death of her precious piece of crap, she'll completely neglect Eddie and he'll run straight into my arms."

In the distance, the school bell rang.

"Get ready." Tanya rubbed her hands together.

It only took a few minutes for Bella to make her way from her last class of the day, to the parking lot. She was with Edward.

"Of course they're together." muttered Tanya. She pressed her thumb down on the button and the red Chevy truck exploded with a BANG!

The whole parking lot fell silent, waiting for Bella's reaction.

It wasn't much. She simply shrugged and said loudly. "It was getting old anyway." she thought for a moment. "But now I'll have to walk everywhere...." she glanced at Edward.

He smirked. "Well now, we can't have that. Please consider me your new personal chauffeur."

Bella giggled. "Why thank you." she said in a REALLY bad British accent.

Two girls stood up in the bushes a few metres away from them.

"I told you this was a stupid plan!" yelled Angela.

"I GIVE UP!" screeched Tanya at the same time. "I TRY AND TRY BUT I JUST CAN'T WIN!" she threw her arm over her face in a dramatic pose.

Everyone just stared at her.

She ran over to Edward and slapped him. "Its over!"

He opened his mouth but she pushed her hand over it to stop him. "Don't beg." she advised. "Its just pathetic."And with that, she strutted off down the street.

With Tanya gone everyone turned to stare at Angela who was still standing in the bushes.

"Um...Yeah...We were making out in there...."


	16. IceCream and Broom Cupboards

"That," Edward scooped up a spoonful of ice-cream from the carton. "That look on Tanya's face. Was priceless." he spooned it into Bella's mouth.

Bella nodded in agreement and squirted some chocolate sauce into Edward's. "I wish I had taken a photo. We could've sent it into Gossip Girl. She loves that sort of stuff."

_She sure does. But never you mind Bella. I snapped a few shots of my own._

She started to lick the spoon. "And now," she half squealed. "Tanya's gone! And we can become public once more!"

"Yeah, about that I-"

Bella threw herself across the couch they were sitting on and onto Edward's lap. "I'm so happy. I love you." and she kissed him.

_Mmmm, Chocolate ice-cream flavoured Edward kisses. Can I share?_

Edward kissed back for a few minutes but then pushed her away gently. "Listen, Bella. I think...maybe we should wait a while to tell everyone about...us. I mean, not that I don't want everyone to know how much I love you. It's just..."

"You made a bet with Emmett again didn't you?"

His eyes widened in surprise. "Pfff! No! What gave you that idea?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "You're always making bets with him. Remember when we were seven? The time he said you were a wimp for not riding your bike down that huge hill really fast? He bet you his favourite batman toy that you couldn't do it in less than fifteen seconds...."

"And I did!" Edward shouted triumphantly. Then he lowered his voice to a mutter. "Edward Cullen is not a wimp."

"You did." Bella agreed. "You _also _broke your arm in four places and had to sit on the side of the pool all summer."

Edward grinned and shrugged. "It wasn't so bad. A certain hot brunette in a Barbie bikini sat with me."

Bella kissed his nose. "We had a killer sunburn after a few days."

"Sunscreen is so overrated."

Bella giggled. "Ok. Now stop trying to change the subject. What was the bet this time?"

Edward sighed in defeat. "Ok, ok. He bet me one hundred dollars that I wouldn't be able to stop myself going out with you after I broke up with Tanya. For a whole week."

Bella groaned. "Seriously?" She flipped over so she was lying on her back. "That kind of really sucks."

Edward started to play with a strand of her hair. "It's just a week. Then we can become the most PDAish couple in the whole of Forks High."

"But...Until then you're publicly single! Girls are going to make moves on you!"

"And my incredibly protective best friend is going to be there to fend them off."

"I wonder if it's still illegal to behead sluts...." Bella mused thoughtfully.

Edward shrugged. "I wouldn't hold it against you."

Bella flipped over again so that her body was now pressed to his. "I've changed my mind. This is going to be fun. Sneaking around. Our love not being allowed. Like Romeo and Juliet!"

"Except, with more hot make-out sessions in school broom cupboards and less serenading from balconies and stuff."

"Awww! But you'd be so cute serenading me from my bedroom window!" she pinched his cheek. "I do like the sound of the broom cupboard action though."

Edward chuckled and pulled her face slowly towards his. "Why wait for a broom cupboard?"

"Mmmm..."

"Edward! I'm home." Alice called as she came through the door.

They both gasped and Bella rolled off Edward and onto the floor in surprise. The tub of ice-cream coming with her.

"You'll never guess what Jasper did for m-...Um...." Alice giggled. "Are you ok Bella? You have ice-cream in your hair."

Bella reached up and pulled the tub off her head. "Uh, we had a food fight?"

Alice nodded. "Right. Edward, you have lipgloss smeared all over your face."

Edward shot Bella a panicked look and tried to wipe it off. "Bella wanted to play dress ups?"

Alice tilted her head to the side. "Before I came in...were you two....Did I interrupt something?"

"No!" They both yelled.

"What are you on, Alice?"

"Yeah, you know we're just friends!"

Edward nodded fiercely. "Friends and only friends."

"We don't plan on making out in broom cupboards either!" Bella blurted out.

Edward stood up. "Shall we go to your house now Bella?"

Bella nodded and glared at Alice. "I think so. Now that _someone _is making such totally unjustified accusations!" They both half ran to the door.

Alice snickered and went to finish off the ice-cream.

*

To: Edward

From: Bella

**Ugh! I'm so BORED! X **

To: Bella

From: Edward

**Me too. Wanna meet up for a movie?**

_Gossip Girl Translation: Wanna HOOK up in the back row?_

To: Edward

From: Bella

**Pick me up in 20. Love you heaps.**

"Can I come?" Rose asked.

Bella jumped. "Rosalie! Were you just reading over my shoulder?" she screeched, stuffing her phone under the pillow.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "No, Bella. I'm a psychic. _Thats _how I knew what you texted him. Honestly. And since when am I boring?"

_Since the only thing you ever talk about is Emmett. _Bella thought. "Rosie, you aren't boring." she lied smoothly. "I just wanna see a movie."

"Ok." Rose grabbed her bag. "Lets go to one."

"With Edward."

"Why?"

Bella sighed and inspected her nails. "He's my best friend."

Rose pouted. "And I am....?"

"My best _girl_friend."

"Gee. Thanks. Anyway, I thought you were over the idea of you and Edward getting back together?"

_Ah, sweet, naive Rosalie. Does a fat ten year old boy ever 'get over' the dream of eating cake for the rest of his life? Does a squirrel ever 'get over' the quest for the perfect acorn?_

Bella flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I so am. But that doesn't mean we can't be friends!"

"And just because you're going to the movies with him, doesn't mean the rest of us can't come too!"

Bella groaned in defeat. "Fine. But you're buying me popcorn."  
"Sure."

"And a drink."

"No problem."

"And I get to sit beside Emmett, you don't."

Rose threw a pillow at her.

*

"_Twilight_? No. We're not going to a freaking chick flick." Emmett folded his arms. "Look at the dude on the poster. What a freak. He has yellow eyes."

"Topaz!" A group of girls standing behind then squealed. "Edward has topaz eyes, idiot!" One proceeded to throw a handful of popcorn at Emmett. "Imbecile."

"What about.... Black Sheep?" Edward suggested.

Bella shuddered. "Is that sheep eating a _human arm?_"

The boys all high-fived.

"Whatever." Alice shrugged. "All the more reason for the boys to hold us closer.

She grabbed Jasper's hand. Emmett grinned at Rosalie who gave in and grabbed his arm as they walked in. Edward winked at Bella when no-one was looking and mouthed, _Sit right at the back. _

It didn't turn out as they planned.

Alice being her usual self, arranged the seating. Jasper, then herself, then Bella, Edward, Emmett and Rosalie on the end.

Bella and Edward both shot her dirty looks, Alice smiled sweetly back.

Her and Jasper started making out during the starting credits. Rose and Emmett were more polite. They waited three and a half minutes into the movie before they started.

"I'm sure they wouldn't notice if we were quick...." Edward muttered.

"I wonder if there are any good broom cupboards around here." Bella mused.

"I think I saw a rather large disabled person toilet in the foyer." he offered.

"Perfect! Lets go."

They stood up. "Going to get more snacks." whispered Bella, as if anyone actually cared, and they crept out.

_Hmm...Gossip girl is wondering if they noticed Alice. Who _always _kisses with one eye and one ear open... I'm also wondering if they're aware of the evil plan to expose them, forming in her mind...._

**Hands up, who wants to find out what the evil plan is???? If YOU do....REVIEW!**


	17. You KNOW you love me E

"Ok." Bella stopped outside the disabled toilet and glanced from left to right nervously. "I'll go in, wait three minutes, make sure no-one is watching, then casually follow me."

Edward rose an eyebrow. "Why wait _three _minutes?"

She shrugged. "It's better than waiting five." With a wink, she opened the toilet door and walked inside.

Edward turned and leant against the wall, trying to act natural.

"Wonder what Bella's doing in there..." he muttered to himself.

Only two minutes to go...

He checked him watch, watching the second hand tick slowly around.

One minute and forty two seconds till Bella time...

Oh for God's sake! He glanced around the movie theater foyer to make sure nobody was looking his way and...

"Hey, Edward!"

Alice. Damn her.

"Hi." he mumbled grumpily. "Movie got boring?" Come to ruin my life instead?

"Yeah." she leaned beside him on the door. "Where's Bella? I thought you were going to get snacks?"

"Oh...Um.." Edward ran his fingers through his hair. "She's in the bathroom...reapplying make-up."

Alice nodded, while really thinking what a terrible excuse maker brother was. Bella? Reapplying make-up? Riiiight. "Why didn't she just use the normal ladies toilets?"

"They were full." Edward lied.

"Ok. Well, in that case...." she reached towards the doorhandle and before Edward had time to stop her, yanked the door open, walked in and closed it behind her.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "3...2...."

"ALICE!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" A very flustered looking Bella came storming out.

"What am _I _doing?" Alice asked, choking back laughter. "You're the one who just jumped on me and started pashing me!"

Edward still had his eyes closed, his lips were twitching. Bella's face was as red as a tomato. "I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU!?"

"Who did you _think _it would be?" Alice challenged playfully. "The janitor?"

Bella stared at the floor. "No."

"Who then?"

Edward opened his eyes and waited for the brilliant excuse Bella was bound to come up with.

Nothing. She just kept glaring at the floor. He decided to join her.

Alice laughed. "I'm not stupid guys. You're both terrible liars and actors. It's obvious what's going on."

Still silence.

"I don't get it though, now that Tanya's gone, why won't you just admit you're together once and for all?"

"We're not together?" Bella squeaked.

"I repeat. Terrible liar."

Edward looked up and folded his arms. "It's really none of your business Alice."

"Yeah!" an annoying voice from behind them agreed. "Butt out Alice!" Jessica elbowed her out of the way and sidled up to Edward. "So is it true that Bella's only into you because you're her drug supplier?"

The three looked at her like she was crazy.

"What?"

Edward cleared his throat. "No Jessica. That is a lie."

She shook her head fiercely. "Not according to BarbieGirl667!"

"Well BarbieGirl667 doesn't know what she's talking about." snapped Bella. "Get lost Jess!"

Jessica flipped her hair. "Whatev. TTFN babes." she turned to go but suddenly spun back around. "You _know _you love me Edward."

He blinked at her retreating figure. "I....do?"

*

"Emmett?"

Em stopped throwing popcorn into an old lady's perm for a moment. "Yeah?"

"Can Jazz and I come in your car on the way home?" Alice asked, slyly winking at Edward and Bella who were awkwardly standing exactly thirty centimetres apart.

_Oh right, THATS going to convince her that they aren't a couple._

"Why?" whined Emmett. "I want to spend some quality alone time with Rosie."

Alice glared at him. "Listen buddy. This is the score. You, me, Rose and Jasper. In your car. Edward and Bella. His car. Kapeesh?"

"No, no." Edward interupted quickly. "I'll take Alice and Jasper. No problems."

"And I'll go with Rosalie and Em." Bella agreed.

Alice stomped her foot . "No!"

"Why are you so insistent on Edward and Bella going together, Alice?" Rose asked curiously.

"No reason." grumbled Alice, shooting Bella and Edward dark looks. "Lets go then. See you guys tomorrow." she grabbed Jasper's hand and pulled him towards her brothers car.

Edward started to follow but stopped. "So...bye."

Rosalie and Emmett smiled at him. "Bye."

Bella bit her lip. "See you _later_."

Edward fought back a smile. "Yes. I will." he turned his head so only she could see and mouthed, "Ten o'clock, your room?"

Bella pretended to be inspecting the roof, then she looked down. A subtle nod.

_Hmmm...Looks like I'm going to be climbing some trees at the Swan residence tonight. Note to self: Bring popcorn, binoculars and camera. xoxo_


	18. Wait, WHAT?

**Wow. I rock. Longest. Chapter. EVER! Do you love me? Of course you do!**

"I can't take this much longer." muttered Bella Swan to Edward Cullen as he held the door of his Volvo open for her.

He got in the other side. "One more day." He reminded her softly, starting up the engine. "Then we can proclaim our love to the world."

"No more Jessica and Lauren flirting shamelessly with you." She sighed wistfully.

"No more Emmett making comments about what great chemistry we have to try and break me down."

"No more.." She trailed off and grinned. "I've got nothing. But it's gonna be pretty great."

Edward smiled slyly to himself. "It will be very _special._" He agreed.

_Hmmmm...._

It had been six long, hard days for Edward, Bella and their 'we're just friends an totally fine with that' act. Emmett had been trying to make it as hard for them both as humanly possible (there was no way he was just _handing _over one hundred dollars). He was constantly making comments about how 'smoking' Bella looked everyday, much to Edward's annoyance and jealousy.

Rosalie was also getting pretty pissed off at Emmett and his comments.

"Listen, buddy." She hissed after Em had suggested Bella wear a shorter skirt the next day. "If we're gonna make this work, you've got to decide who you want to be with, me or Bella."

Emmett had gone red. "I-I-I didn't mean.... I was only trying to annoy Edward."

Rose rolled her eyes. "Right. I'm going to believe _that_. Edward and Bella are just friends idiot." She had stood up. "Get some better excuses."

Edward smirked remembering it, but his expression immediately turned stony as he spotted a certain blonde boy rushing towards the car. He stuffed the keys in the ignition as fast as he could.

"Hey Bella!" Panted Mike rushing towards the. "I was hoping I'd catch you before you left."

Bella glared at Edward. "Couldn't you have started up the car just a _little _quicker?"

He shrugged and threw Mike a dirty look.

"You want to hang out tonight?" Her admirer asked eagerly. "Like, just the two of us? As in a date? As in, me picking you up and-"

"She knows what a date is Mike." Edward snapped irritably. "And she can't come."

"Yes she can!" Emmett boomed from the other side of the car. "Bella's a single girl Edward, she can't just hang out with you all the time." He wagged his finger in Edward's face. "Don't hold her back. Tut tut."

Mike jumped up and down, clapping his hands before composing himself. He cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. I'll pick you up at seven."

"No you won't." Edward muttered at the same time as Emmett shouted. "She can't wait!"

Both boys turned to Bella who had a furious expression on her face. "Don't I get a say in who I do or not date?"

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Don't be dramatic. It's one night."

She glared at Edward. "And you! DO I OR DO I NOT HAVE A MOUTH?!"

"Yes." Squeaked Edward.

"THEN LET ME USE IT GOD DAMMIT!"

"Ok."

Emmett chuckled and sauntered off. "See you guys later."

Edward started up the car and drove out of the parking lot. Neither of them said a word on the ride to the Swan residence.

He stopped infront of the house and took her face in his hands. "I'm sorry Bella. I should have let you decide whether you wanted to go out with Mike or not. I was jealous and stupid." He unleashed the full power of his eyes on her. "Will you please forgive me."

Bella cleared her throat and tried to gather her thoughts. "Um...Yes?"

Edward released her and grinned. "Great."

She thought for a moment. "You will have to make it up to me though." She said leaning towards him.

"Anything you want." he murmured moving forwards to kiss her back.

A sharp rapping on the car window interrupted them.

Rosalie and Alice stood outside with goofy grins on their faces. "We heard you had a date."

"It's not a date!" growled Edward.

Bella smiled apologetically. "It kind of is."

"No!" He insisted. "It's you being kind enough to fulfill Mike's lifelong fantasy. _Not a date._"

Alice shrugged and pulled a curling iron out of her bag. "We don't really care. As long as we get to play Barbie Bella, it's fine by us."

Bella groaned. "Please, have mercy!"

Alice pressed her forehead against the glass. "Either you come out, or we come in there and get you."

A beep sounded and all the locks went down.

Rosalie and Alice raised their eyebrows and Rose held up a nail file. "We really don't want to scratch the paint job, but if we have to..."

The beep went off again, the passenger door was thrown open and Edward pushed Bella out into Rose and Alice's clutches.

"Edward! You traitor!" screeched Bella as Alice grinned gleefully and started to comb Bella's hair.

"Sorry." He apologised. "Have fun tonight and if he tries to kiss you, make sure you hurt him alot."

"Thanks for the tip." she spat as he drove off.

*

"Oh come on Bella!" moaned Rosalie. "What's the point in doing this if you're just going to hide in the bathroom?"

"I look like a prostitute." Bella cried in horror, staring at herself in the bathroom mirror.

Her two friends exchanged a exasperated look. "Bella, we dressed you in the longest miniskirt we could find! You do NOT look like a prostitute!"

"I do!" she wailed at the same time as her stepmother Sue Clearwater opened the door.

"Hi girls! I bought snacks!"

"Thanks, Sue!" Alice and Rosalie chorused while unintelligible mutterings came from inside the bathroom.

"What's Bella doing in the bathroom?" Sue asked curiously.

"She's got a date with Mike Newton tonight." giggled Alice.

"What about Edward?"

"What about him?"

Sue sat on the edge of Bella's bed. "Well he's up in Bella's room almost every night, I just assumed that-"

The bathroom door burst open and Bella stormed out.

_She thinks THAT'S a short skirt? Honey, that's six inches longer that the skirt I wear to _church!

"Well you assumed WRONG! Edward and I are just friends right guys?" She turned sharply to her friends who said nothing.

Sue stood up quickly. "Uh, I'd better go...cook or something. Bye bye girls."

Bella glared after her.

"Why do you hare her so much, Bella?" asked Rose bravely. "She's actually really nice."

"She's not my mother." Bella answered shortly. "She needs to stop trying."

There was an awkward silence for a moment until Rosalie's phone rang causing them all to jump.

"Hello, Emmett." She greeted coldly.

…

"Yes I'm at Bella's house. Please don't come and have sex with her _right _now as we're kind of busy."

…

"No! You can't come have sex with me EITHER! GOODBYE EMMETT!" She snapped the phone shut and rolled her eyes.

"You've gotta admire your persistence." Alice allowed nibbling on one of Sue's cookies.

"Well I don't." sniffed Rosalie. "I just find it annoying.

Bella winked at Alice. "Sure she does. We _all _know how much Rose loves it when Emmett chases her." She giggled. "It's her dirty little secret though."

Rose narrowed her eyes. "Speaking of dirty little secrets....."

Bella stiffened.

"...What do you and Edward get up to in your room every night?"

"Homework." Bella lied

"You're a terrible actress Bella."

"Yeah," agreed Alice with a grin. "We _all _know what's going on."

"W-What?" stuttered Bella.

Rose smiled. "Ok, listen. We're not going to tell Emmett, we know about the bet."

"Well if you figured out that we're together," screeched Bella. "I wouldn't be surprised if he has too!"

"It's Emmett, Bella." Rosalie reminded him. "He's a dumbass."

Bella thought for a moment, then breathed a sigh of relief. "You're totally right."

"I know. And after tonight, you can proclaim your love for each other from the rooftops. It was only a week you had to wait right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, you're right. This isn't a big deal at all. And after Edward-"

"ROSALIE!"

The girl's head's snapped up.

"ROSALIE! I LOVE YOU! LOOK OUT THE WINDOW!"

The three of them hurried to the window and looked down. Rosalie gasped. "Oh."

"My." whispered Bella.

"God!" Alice squealed.

Emmett was standing in the middle of Bella's front yard with a bouquet of roses in his arms. He chucked them up through Bella's bedroom window. "Rosie, you're the only girl for me! I've come to serenade you!"

Some of the surrounding house windows opened and people poked their heads out.

Emmett rushed back to the Jeep and pressed play on the radio. The chorus of 'I Wanna' by the All American Rejects started to blast through the speakers.

"I wanna I wanna I wanna touch you!" he yelled. "You wanna touch me too!"

"So true." Rose murmured.

"Everyday, but all I have is time," he pointed to his watch. "Our love's the perfect crime."

The front door of Bella's house burst open and Charlie stormed out, purple in the face. "No! You know what's a crime? YOU SINGING!" He fumed. "GET OFF MY PROPERTY BEFORE I CALL YOUR PARENTS EMMETT MCCARTY!"

Em threw Rosalie a desperate, panicked look. "Please?" He mouthed.

"YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS!" yelled Charlie. "5....4...3..."

"What do ya say Rosie?"

Rose turned to Alice and Bella who nodded encouragingly.

"2...1..."

"Ok!" Rose called. "I'll take you back!"

Emmett squealed like a girl for two reasons. One, he was ecstatic that he had his girlfriend back and two, Charlie had just grabbed a baseball bat...

*

"That dude is scary, man." Emmett laughed. "He grabbed a baseball bat and started chasing me around the yard!"  
Edward chuckled. "Thats what you get for being such a drama queen!"

"But it worked!" Em reminded him. "Rose is all mine again." His phone beeped. "That'll be her now."

"Is it?"

His friend grinned. "Yup. She and Alice are gonna spy on Bella's date. They want to know if we're coming."

"Hell yeah!" Edward jumped up. This was the perfect way to make sure Mike newton behaved himself.

Em grabbed his jacket. "Lets go. We're meeting at the restaurant."

Edward cleared his throat. "Uh, can we stop at the mall on the way there? I need to run an errand."

"Ok..."

Ten minutes later Emmett stopped outside the mall. "Make it quick ok? You're cutting into Rose and my make-up time."

"So so sorry." Edward muttered sarcastically, getting out of the car.

Em watched him run into a store. "Why is he going into the jewelers?" he wondered to himself. He snorted. "What a freaking girl, probably wants to buy himself a necklace."

*

"This has to have been the worst date in history." declared Alice, peeking over her menu to get a better look at Bella and Mike. "First his car breaks down so it takes two hours to get to the restaurant. Then he takes about an hour to order, all the while Bella practically falls asleep...."

Emmett shrugged. "_I_ thought his story about the diet of koala's was fascinating." Four pairs of eyes stared back at him in disbelief. "What?"

"Excuse me," a waitress smiled pleasantly down at them. "I'm sorry, but it's midnight, the restaurant is closing."

"Midnight?" Edward echoed. His eyes lit up and he elbowed Emmett. "Shame, it's been a week since I broke up with Tanya. Cough up."

Emmett rolled his eyes and opened his wallet. "One hundred dollars. As promised. I've got to admit, I didn't think you could do it." he handed him the note. "Spend it wisely, grasshopper." Then he went back to kissing Rosalie.

Edward stood up and strode over to the table where Mike was talking animatedly about the time he fell off a swing and cracked his head open.

"...And there was blood everywhere, but I didn't really care because on the way to the hospital my mother bought me an ice-block...." He trailed off when he saw Edward. "What are _you _doing here?"

Bella looked up, here eyes were glazed over. "Edward!" she gasped happily.

"It's midnight." he said softly.

She punched her fist in the air. "Yes!" She stood up. "Thanks for a terrible evening Newton."

"I'm going to talk to Bella privately round the back of the restaurant for a moment." Edward called to their group of giggling friends. "Back in a minute."

"See you soon." sang Rosalie, winking knowingly.

Edward took Bella's hand and lead her out to the deserted parking lot.

"What's this about?" she asked curiously.

Edward turned to face her and took both of her hands. "These past few weeks have been hell for us."

She nodded in fervent agreement.

"With Tanya, the bet, everything. It was so so hard for me to be in love with you and not tell everyone. Not to claim you as my own."

"And now that's over."

He grinned. "Yes. It _is _over. We don't have to hide our relationship anymore."

Bella sighed happily. "I can't wait to tell _everyone _at school that I'm your girlfriend."

Edward shook his head fiercely. "I don't want you to tell the school that you're my girlfriend, because I don't _want_ you to be my girlfriend."

"W-what?" She tried to drop his hands but he held on tighter than before.

"I want you to be more." He fell down on to one knee. "I have the keys to Emmett's Jeep in my pocket. I have all my money in my wallet..." he reached into his pocket and took out what he had bought in the jewelers. "Isabella Marie Swan, will you run away to Vegas with me right now? Will you become my wife?"


	19. The Vegas Race

"They're taking forever!" complained Emmett sulkily. "It's been like three hours!"

"Fifteen minutes." muttered Jasper.

Emmett glared at him. "Shut up Jazz." He rested his head on Rosalie's shoulder. "I'm tired."

She sighed. "I don't _want_ to go and interrupt whatever they're up to, but I feel that I have no choice." She patted her boyfriends head. "Unless they want to walk home."

"That's it!" Emmett cried, jumping up. "They can _walk _home!"

"We're in Port Angeles, it would take them all night!"

"So?" he challenged, digging his hands in his pocket. His face went blank. "Guys, I think I lost my keys."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Relax. You gave them to Edward when we got here. Remember? He insisted he take them because you'd most likely lose them."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Phew. But that means our ditching them plan won't work..."

"_Your_ ditching them plan." the three friends said simultaneously.

"I'm interrupting." Emmett announced bitterly. He could get pretty damn irritable when he was tired.

"I'll come."

"Me too."

Jasper stood up. "Me three. You might need back up. Who knows how angry they'll be when we ruin their reunited make out session...."

"Make out session?" Emmett laughed. "Oh I think you've got it quite wrong. Edward and Bella are _just _friends. That's why I gave him the one hundred dollars. That was what the bet was about." He ruffled Jasper's hair. "Silly Jazzy."

Alice giggled. "You're so thick! They've secretly been together this whole time. They just went behind your back about it because Edward's broke."

Rosalie shuddered. "I feel so sorry for the brooms in the broom cupboards at school. Imagine the things they have seen...."

Emmett shook his head fiercely. "No! Edward and Bella weren't _doing _anything in the broom cupboard except look for a broom!" He bit his lip. "Right? They needed a broom because they were helping the janitor...."

Rose wrapped her arm around his waist. "Aw. You look so cute when you've been betrayed."

"You look so cute when you think I look cute."

"You look so cute when you think I look cute when I think you look cute when y-"

"Ah guys." Interrupted Alice, staring out into the deserted parking lot where they had just arrived. "Where are they?"

The four peered around. "It's a completely open space. There's nothing they could be hiding behind except Rosalie's car...." Jasper trailed off. "Em, where's _your_ car?"

Emmett stomped his foot. "Those...those..." He stammered. "Argh! They took my car, dammit!"

Alice had her phone out and was dialing Bella's cellphone number when she got no answer she tried Edward. "His is turned off too!" she cried, dialing again. "The way my brother drives, they should be back at Bella's place my now." Her eyes narrowed. "If that _is_ where they're going."

"They could be going to a hotel?" offered Emmett.

Alice ignored him and spoke into her phone. "Hi Sue, is Bella home?"

"No. Of course not." Sue sounded confused. "Isn't she at an all weekend beauty and pamper sleepover at your house? She just called me about ten minutes ago to tell me that that was where she'd be until Sunday night.... Has there been a change of plans?"

"No." Alice did her best to sound cheerful. No way was she going to dob her friend in. "She's just...taking a long time picking up the pizza. We thought she might have forgotten something and gone home to get it."

"Oh. Well no she's not here."

"Ok." Alice replied brightly. "She'll probably be back soon. Bye Sue." She hung up and turned to her friends.

Jasper saw the look on her face and immediately put his arm around her shoulder.

"Well?"

Alice recounted what Sue had said to her friends. "So she's obviously gone somewhere with Edward. And they took your Jeep Em......."

"I don't know why she'd want to go anywhere with him." Emmett muttered. "The guy bought himself a necklace."

"What" Jasper asked, chuckling despite the intensity of the situation. "When did he buy himself a necklace?"

Emmett grinned. "Tonight. On the way to the restaurant he said he had to pick something up at the mall, so I stopped and he ran inside the jewelers." He laughed. "What a girl."

Alice held her hands up. "Wait.... Did he actually _say _that he bought a _necklace_?"

Emmett shook his head. "But what else would he buy from a jewelers?"

Alice ignored him and turned to Rosalie who's expression was a mask of shock. "Rose!"

"He wouldn't..."

"He's always been a drama queen!"

"But this is just going too far! Besides. How would he afford it? You said it yourself, Edward's broke!"

"Afford what?" Emmett asked dumbly. The girls didn't answer him.

"And besides," continued Rosalie. "Bella wouldn't say yes would she? She's got commitment phobia!"

"But she'd jump off a cliff for Edward!"

Emmett fell to his knees. "I think I know what you're talking about!" He gasped. "Edward and Bella are going to jump off a cliff together tonight! So they can be together FOREVER!"

"SHUT UP EMMETT!" The girls shouted.

"Do you think they went to Vegas?" Rose asked, trying her best to be calm.

"Probably..." Alice bit her lip. "Should we follow them?"

"Well we can't just let them get married!" burst out Jasper, having caught on to what they were talking about.

"You're right. Lets go."

They started to walk over to Rosalie's car. Emmett was still standing in his spot. "So...which cliff is it that we're going to?"

*

"This is so much better than I could ever have imagined!" Bella exclaimed, clutching the hand Edward wasn't using to drive tightly. "No drama....No poofy white dresses..."

"No Charlie shooting me. No Alice and Esme planning every little detail of the wedding."

Bella made a face. "Sue would probably want to help. Ugh."

Edward sighed, happily. "We'll be married in the time it takes to order a cheeseburger."

"Thank God for the drive up wedding." Bella agreed, looking down at her phone that had started to ring. "It's Alice....again."

"You should probably answer it this time." said Edward. "They'll be getting worried. Besides, we're to far away for them to stop us now."

"You're probably right." she took a deep breath and answered the call. "Hi, Alice."

"We're half an hour behind you Bella." Alice growled. "We know exactly what you and Edward are planning and it stops. Now."

Bella hit the loudspeaker button. "No it doesn't. We're in love."

"And we're sick of hiding it from the world." Edward called.

Alice hit the same button.

"Please don't do this!" pleaded Rosalie. "It will change everything if you're married! People will talk."

"We're not going to tell anyone."

"What if you want to get divorced?" demanded Jasper.

Bella gasped. "We _won't_ ever want that!"

"And if we do, we'll work something out." Edward explained calmly.

"But we _won't_!" insisted Bella.

"Listen, just stop for a while." said Jasper soothingly. "Pull over so we can catch up to you guys and the six of us can talk."

Edward and Bella looked at each other skeptically. "Weeeell..."

"Ok." sighed Bella. "But we aren't going to back down..."

"This is what we want." finished Edward.

*

"You're being crazy!" exclaimed Alice, leaning on the Jeep and shivering in the cold night air.

Bella examined her engagement ring. "Yes you've said that already. Three times."

"You haven't thought this through at all!"

"Five times."

Rosalie was looking at Bella's ring as well. "I'm curious, Edward. Alice and I were talking earlier and we were wondering how exactly you could afford to pay for Bella's engagement ring..."

Edward went red. "Uh, well.... I just...."

Bella narrowed her eyes. "Edward...?"

He looked down at the road. "I knew you'd freak out and overreact..."

"What. Did. You. Do?" she asked dangerously.

"Oh, Bella, it's just my college savings."

"WHAT!? YOU USED YOUR COLLEGE FUND TO BUY AN ENGAGEMENT RING!?"

Edward said nothing. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice all looked awkwardly in different directions.

Bella sighed. "Ok, Edward. Look," she slipped the ring off her finger. "I can't marry you now."

"What?!" moaned Edward. "Bella, it was hardly anything..."

She smiled sadly. "I know you may think that, but that's your _college fund!_ And it's put everything in perspective for me." she started pacing along the sidewalk while five pairs of eyes watched her. "We're young! We've got our whole lives ahead of us! We don't need to get married right now."

Edward walked over and placed his hands on either side of Bella's face. "Bella, I want to be with you forever. I want you to be my wife. And I want it now!"

She giggled and kissed his nose. "I _am _yours. Forever and ever. We don't need a ring and a marriage to prove that."

Edward pouted slightly. "But I was so looking forward to the honeymoon..."

Bella stood on her tippy toes to whisper in his ear. They laughed giddily together.

"Do I _want _to know what you just said?" Emmett, speaking for the first time in hours (he had been sulking- Alice refused to stop for ice cream).

"No!" yelled everyone.

"Now lets go home." Bella yawned, leaning on Edward.

"I was actually looking forward to going to Vegas." said Edward. "I'm kind of assuming that it would be more exciting than Forks. Forks is so boring."

_Ah Edward. If only you saw things through my eyes.... Forks is seldom boring. Especially when you're in town..._

**Ok my pretties. We have ONE more Gossip Girl post. Then we're FINISHED! *sob sob* Review please!**


	20. GG: xoxo

Hey People!

Wow! So much has gone on! Who knew that **E** was such a drama queen? And what was **B **THINKING?! How could anyone refuse to marry that...that...God!?

Maybe she's a bit crazy in the head...

Hmm....maybe I'll look into that theory.

But while I'm waiting for **B**'s brain scans to come back, I have a few...questions.

So now we know that **RH **and **EM **are back together, will it stay that way? Will **EM **cheat again? (If you ask me, him and **B **still seem close...a bit TOO close....)

And what about **T**? I got an email saying that someone spotted her booking plane tickets for Forks... Is she going back to seduce our beloved **E**? Or did she just forget a bra in his bed...?

Will **E** stop in his quest to make **B **his wife? Or does he have another plan?

No one knows the answers now.

But don't worry. I'll still be watching.

And I'll never get tired of dishing the dirt.

You know you love me,

Gossip Girl

AKA Jessica Stanley.

xoxox


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